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Have you ever wondered why you seem to make the same mistakes again and again in your relationships? Have you ever wondered why you’re scared to get close or maybe on the other end you’re so needy and require constant reassurance? How do you know if you’re in a toxic or financially abusive relationship? And, how do you heal from that?
One thing that can help our relationships is learning your attachment style as it will be a life-changer.
Learn what your attachment style is, how it affects your mental and financial health and more in this episode as I talk with Ginger Dean.
Ginger Dean is a psychotherapist and founder of Loving Me After We. She helps women overcome heartbreak and increase self-love and confidence after a toxic relationship so they can become the best version of themselves.
In this episode, discover how to deal with you or your partner’s attachment issues, or how to choose a partner that can help you work towards forming a secure attachment or relationship.
Find out the difference between narcissistic abuse and just bad behaviour. Learn what are the financial red flags and the main money conflicts that you should watch out for in a relationship.
Also, find out how we can help and support our partner who’s suffering from mental health issues and financial problems.
And lastly, learn about the healing process after a toxic relationship and the mental and financial benefits of increasing self-love and confidence.
What You Will Learn From This Episode
- The 4 attachment styles, how they are developed and who they attract
- How to deal with attachment issues and work towards a secure attachment/relationship
- The anxious and avoidant type relationship – why they tend to attract each other, how its affecting their mental health and how to make the relationship work
- Tips for self-soothing when you’re feeling anxious or emotionally stressed
- What is narcissistic abuse and its difference with bad behaviours in relationships
- Financial red flags and main money conflicts you should watch out in a relationships
- How we can help and support our partner who’s suffering from mental health issues
- The healing process and the mental and financial benefits of increasing self-love and confidence
“If you’ve grown up with a history of parents who are just chronically invalidating you, you’re going to more than likely date someone who’s doing the same thing to you because that’s what you’ve learned and courtesy of repetitive compulsion you go ahead and repeat that pattern.” – Ginger Dean
“When we’re spending the time attending to our own emotional experience then we can make time and space to be able to be emotionally present for the other person.” – Ginger Dean
“A lot of times as anxious types we’re looking for that soothing from the other person in terms of their presence when really we need to learn how to be present with ourselves via self-soothing.” – Ginger Dean
“Sometimes the person needs to stash their own money so that they can leave because it is an abusive relationship.” – Ginger Dean
“When we show up as parents versus partners all the passion in that relationship goes to hell.” – Ginger Dean
“In healing, there’s no final destination; it’s an ongoing process.” – Ginger Dean
“When we’re really working to heal and we’re increasing our self-love, we’re increasing our confidence, the other domains of our lives start to open up in ways that we never ever would have considered in the past.” – Ginger Dean
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Timestamps
2:19 – How Ginger helps women heal after going through a toxic relationship
4:35 – The 4 attachment styles, how they are developed and who they attract
11:19 – Securely attached type of person and their parents and why they’re called unicorns
15:54 – Your worth is not based on your productivity or performance
18:07 – The importance of compassion and boundaries when dealing with attachment issues
20:27 – Why anxious and avoidant types of people attract each other and its effect on their mental health
28:05 – What the anxious and avoidant type of person can do to make the relationship work
30:29 – Tips for self-soothing when you’re feeling anxious or emotionally stressed
35:53 – What is narcissistic abuse and the difference with just bad behaviour in a relationship
41:13 – Financial red flags that you should watch out for in relationships
44:25 – The bad effects of financial enabling and how you can avoid it
42:58 – The main money conflicts among couples
50:38 – How we can better help/support our partner who’s suffering from mental health issues
54:39 – The healing process and the mental and financial benefits of increasing self-love and confidence
Resources
- Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find – and Keep – Love by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller
- How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving by David Richo
- ASMR on Instagram
- Girls Just Wanna Have Funds
- What Money Conflicts Are Really About in a Relationship
Connect with Ginger
Connect with Melanie
- mentalhealthandwealth.com
- melanielockert.com
- Contact: mentalhealthandwealthshow@gmail.com
